Thursday, March 16, 2017

Plastic Surgery

About a month ago I went with my mom for an eye surgery consultation.  When I think "eye surgery" a plastic surgery center full of Botox beauties doesn't enter my mind... Yet that is what I entered walking into this consultation.

A little background- my mom has extra skin on her eyelids which is causing vision irritation and other issues so she is getting that fixed so she can not hit things when she is driving.

Anyways, my mom's soon to be surgeon comes in.  He is all of like 35 and totally thinks he is hot shit, which kinda made me laugh seeing as you could tell he had just come from racquetball.  He did his assessment of my mom and told her she was sure to be approved and that another assistant would be in to help her fill out paperwork.  Let's call her Stacy.

I would like to make it sound like Stacy just appeared unassuming, yet Stacy is a lot...  More than a lot, she is Stacy!.  At first I couldn't tell if she was thirty or fifty.  She had giant Texas blonde hair and big painted up lips that looked like they were stuck somewhere between duck lips and fish puckers.   Oh and they were painted up in fuchsia... Glittery, glossy fuchsia.

I can barely understand any words coming from Stacy's mouth other than she just had her lips done and had a few Botox shots and we could totally get some too because "Hello, Botox is ahhhmazzzing!"  She literally was trying up sell my mom into getting injections.  SO much so that we had prices laid out in front of us and Stacy took it upon herself to go and get another woman.  let's call her Nadia.

I am sitting in a room full of women when Stacy lets loose on her age.. She is 58 and has been doing Botox injections and chemical peels since she was 32...  That is 26 years.  Did Botox exist 26 years ago?  I haven't any idea, but I couldn't question Stacy without Nadia interjecting that a lip filler on my upper and lower lip would make everyone go gaga over me.  Admittedly, Stacy looked good for her age, but she couldn't move her lips and said she avoided smiling and laughter because it would mean she would have to get injections sooner than later.

Before I knew what was happening I was answering questions about my age what I would like to have done, where they could see I needed fillers and before I know I was quoted for $3400 of fillers and Botox...

$3400!  But don't worry I could apply for Care Credit and make payments, but the fillers and Botox only last 6-8 months...  In case you are wondering, it was $1000 for one tube of Botox/filler included with the procedure then the tube price drops to $600 for each tube after that, which means my face and just my face would require 5 tubes of filler/ Botox.

And I thought I looked good for thirty...

Before I do Botox, maybe I should apply sunscreen, use anti wrinkle cream, and quit drinking so much?

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Blog Inspiration

I find the more blogs I read, the more I feel inspired to blog and change things up on my blog.  Facebook and Pinterest have been two awesome social media platforms where I have been prompted to visit new (to me) blogs and, of course, I am always visiting my favorite blogs as well.

Blogging is such an interestingly different kind of world.  I have IRL friends that have come from my blogging and I have internet/ Snapchat/ text blog buddies as well.  There is something to be said about pouring your life stories, thoughts and feelings out on the internet that makes other bloggers realize you are cool enough to actually be real friends with this person.

The Crazy Wise Woman- I love Amy.  She is a girl after my own heart.  When I did Whole 30 in January, she was right there doing it too, inspiring me to keep going and giving me fresh ideas.  Not to mention we both get how much dating, more specifically Tinder dating, sucks.

Dream Big And Buy The Shoes-  Emelia and I actually met through a beauty item swap a couple years ago.  She loves cupcakes and sunset photos as much as I do.  I also adore her take on motherhood.  She is seriously awesome.

Living In Yellow- Facebook advertised Living In Yellow and as soon as I saw a couple fashion posts I was hooked.  Erin is charming and has great style so I visit her daily just to see what is new over there.

The Daily Tay-  I found Tay a few years ago, prior to my own my blog starting.  I have laughed out loud, shed a few tears, and found myself shaking my head "yes" to so many of her posts.

The Other Juilette- Blogging lead me to semi stalking her when she visited her now husband in my hometown and I basically made Juilette be friends with me.  I am forceful like that.  Actually, we don't see that much of each other, other than random run ins and I am still awaiting a margarita and fish taco date night, but alas Juilette is still one of my favorite bloggers to read.

As for other bloggers turned IRL friends, not so many of them blog so much anymore.  That is ok, because I have their phone numbers and hold the power of a human tracker so I can findthem when I need to.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Modified Whole 30-Ish Plan

I don't know about y'all, but I ate like absolute shit this past weekend.  While I did get my workouts in and was relatively close to being under my calorie goal, I still felt lethargic and cranky... Not to mention, my sleep schedule is all out of whack due to this stupid thing called daylight savings time.  More like want to kill everyone in my path time...

Anyways, after this weekend I decided I need to be better to myself.  I didn't go through rounds of Whole 30 to throw it down the drain on a bottle of champagne and tortilla chips.  A couple years ago, after my initial Whole 30 round, I went on what I like to call "kinda 30".  It applies the same principles, but I do allow some room  for dairy, sugar (gotta have my creamer), and soy sauce.  I am not a huge bread person so that isn't hard for me to avoid and spaghetti squash and zucchini noodles have basically replaced pasta for me.

My "modified" version still requires meal planning and prep.  Most nights dinner is a bagged salad and a meal from Freshly.  It means I get veggies and protein, both of which I tend to skip out on if I haven't planned properly.  Breakfast is back to my handy dandy egg muffins and an orange or apple.  Lunch typically ends up being my semi cheat meal, because I love tacos.  Sad, but true... I am that basic!

Really I am putting this post up so I remember I made a promise not only to myself but you guys too, to be better to myself.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

St. Patrick's Day Wear

It is no secret that sometimes i can stay up past 9 p.m. and of course that I like to drink beer and whiskey... Which means means naturally I love St. Patrick's Day!  I do not, however, love green beer.  The dye does a number on my digestive system, but that is another story for another time.

Also, it is a totally amazing excuse to eat corned beef and potatoes and carrots.  It is kind of delicious with mustard!

Any who, I also love to wear green and I love the festive feeling of ginormous clovers everywhere.  If you haven't picked up green gear I am here to help ya out a bit.

For starers- Head over to Target's dollar spot.  They have adorable green fedoras, giant clover glasses, cute banners, shot glasses, and all sorts of other goodies.  You cannot go wrong with a green fedora, I know this is a fact!

Amazon is another great place, especially if you have Prime for that awesome two day shipping dealios.

Does everyone have exciting plans for St. Patty's?

Monday, March 6, 2017

What Makes Me Happy

- Changes in weather.
- A glass of perfectly poured red wine.
- A hot shower.
- New chapstick.
- A good night's sleep.
- Last minute dates.
- A new hairdo.
- Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies with milk.
- Live music.
- Wine nights.
- A good book, that I can't put down.
- A new adventure.
- Clean sheets.
- Deep stretches.
- Weekends that move slowly.
- Queen Green Olives.
- Fast paced work days.
- An empty sink.
- Amazon packages.
- Tan lines.

Friday, March 3, 2017

Texting Tribulations

I know I am not the only girl out there to meet a guy, have things go great and then all of a sudden, BAM, things are going south faster than a fireman on a fire pole.  And I am not talking online dating, but dating in general.  It is really hard out there for a girl.  We have to find a good guy, one we are interested in, make sure he is interested in us, go through the awkward motions of meeting up, dating and possibly starting a “relationship’ AND we have to make sure it doesn't fizzle out. 

Here is the thing- I don’t think relationships today are fizzling for lack of chemistry but more because of two lazy people.  It is hard to keep a relationship going in the first place, but add in the stresses of work, technology and life in general and it makes it really hard out there for a couple.  Especially when people preach about the “rules” of dating…  I don’t think old school rules apply much anymore, but here is the thing- I think we really need to get away from consistently texting and start calling each other.

Don’t get me wrong- I text and I love the convenience of texting but I think there comes a point when phone calls start to become necessary to keep a relationship going.   I mean you only get what you put in, so why not put in a few phone calls?

Monday, February 27, 2017

Thick Hair Problems

I have been blessed with a thick head of hair.  Out of my sisters and I, I actually have the thinnest hair, but it's still a lot.  A year and a half ago I cut about a foot of hair off and I swear it weighed that of a small toddler.  Then I was sad and decided to grow it back out.  The longer it gets the more irritated I get with the thickness, but it means I won't be going bald anytime soon, right?

May hair may be beautiful, but it will never be "Thor" beautiful.

In addition to the mass amounts of hair I have, there are massive amounts of irritation that come with it, product use, and general loss of hair.

RIP all broken hair ties.

Finding a hairdresser that knows how to actually handle all that hair is the most glorious find of all.

Blessed are those with perfectly stretched hair ties.

Goodbye clumps of hair that fall out during the day, while brushing, and especially in the shower.  May my drain never clog as long as I clean it out.

No time for beach waves from a curling iron, there is just too much weight to not drag the style down.

Buy stock in products you love so you get some of your money back in investments.

Hello permanent neck ache from the weight that you don't think is really hurting your neck.

Any up do basically feels like death and the feeling of taking those bobby pins out after a night of your hair being up leaves you feeling like you'd be better off bald.

It takes like 20 minutes to curl your hair and you have to wait for the burning smell to know you have a 50/50 shot of the curl holding.

F it.. I will just get a wig!