Friday, September 30, 2016

Become Your Own Matchmaker, Chapters 4-6

If you missed my recap on chapters 1-3 of Patti Stanger's book "Become Your Own Matchmaker" , read here.  I will not lie this book is getting harder and harder to read.  Most likely due to the fact that the information Patti shares is completely repetitive.

Chapter 4 was all about the types of men not to date and the ones to date.  For instance, I now know that I should seek a relationship with "Gary the Great Friend" as he will most likely be someone that goes at my pace and will have always been there... somewhere in the background silently cheering me on while I chase down and obtain dreams.  It is also all about finding your top ten must haves and five non-negotiable traits of your soulmate.  I will not lie to y'all, I didn't do this, because it seemed tedious.  I guess I will never find my soulmate now.

Learning to love dating was the jist of chapter 5.  Patti is teaching her readers how to enjoy dating and what to talk about.  Never mention that you stalked him via social media, apparently that no-brainer bodes ill for the outcome of the relationship.  This is where things start to get repetitive.  We all kow that it is important to be charming, not to call him, to always wait for him to call you, never allow him to make last minute plans, etc.  This chapter goes back to the dating advice of our mothers
and grandmothers.  She also reiterates the fact that we should never put all of our eggs in one basket.  There are three types of men we need to keep around until "the one" makes his move.

Six brought on the steps of the relationship from the honeymoon phase all the way up to the engagement and BAM you are married with 2.5 kids, a dog and minivan (please God, not a minivan).   In all honestly chapter six was a tough read for me so I skimmed it.  Patti again tells us which rules we must play by and how t get what we want.

Next week I will wrap it up with 7 & 8 and whether or not I plan to take Patti and her rules to the streets for a try out.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Things That Drive Me Nuts

I know I can be irritable, especially when it comes to a few pet peeves.

Poor grammar- especially with "their", "there", and "they're".

Engagement ring comments- I have absolutely no idea why a guy saying, "well she better like it cost me a lot of money" or any other comment regarding his lady's ring and price drives me crazy, but it does.  You bought it for her, no one twisted your arm.  If they did, you need to seriously rethink your relationship.

"K" as a text response, and yes I am guilty of this.

Cancelled television shows- I need closure!

Lack of common sense.

Self important people.

Texts after 11 pm.

Remakes of songs and classic movies.

Hipsters with beards.

The non-existent universal sizing of women's clothing.

True match foundations that don't really match.

Archaic dating rules.

Tailgaters- I am not going to go faster dude.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Weekend Recap

I did it, I broke down and finally decorated for fall...  Of course the temperature outside was about 85 degrees with no breeze, but I couldn't take it anymore.  I just had to do it!

Friday night I went to a sip and paint night.  We painted a fall scene, which I really enjoyed.  Normally I am a complete stress basket and freak out.  This go round was completely opposite.  I think it was because it was more impressionistic than perfectionist.  These sip and paint nights are super fun and I highly recommend finding one in your area to attend.  My sisters and I sat together with a few friends and there were laughs for days.  Our table was of course the loud one and people were semi-annoyed, but I think it was because they were super jealous over the fact that they weren't having all the fun with us.  It isn't every day you accidentally group text a dude who just wants to go to "da club".  Best paint night yet.

Saturday was full of football and cheer.  I am really proud of the girls I am coaching.  They missed a few parts, but pretty much nailed their routines.  There really is nothing compared to watching these kids succeed and the look on their faces when they realize they are capable and competent.

Sunday was relaxing and full of football, cleaning, and decorating for fall.  I decided that today I am starting the C25K challenge,  It runs three days a week for 8 weeks.  I am nervous, but stoked to get back into running so we will see how this goes. I also finished chapters 4, 5, and 6 of Patti's book so I will catch you up on that.  One thing is that I would much rather end up with a "Gary the Good Friend" over any of the other types....

Have a happy Monday.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Serial Monogamist

We all know someone (or maybe it is you, but it isn't me) that is completely comfortable jumping from serious relationship to serious relationship.  Most of the time the serial monogamist (SM) never really processes what the downfall or ending of the last relationship prior to jumping into a new relationship.  This may not seem bad, but if you aren't dealing with your issues, how in the hell are you going to make something work with someone new?

Patterns tend to repeat themselves, kind of like history.  People don't change over night and if they do, there are normally some serious drugs involved.  When you don't give yourself enough time to heal, you carry more baggage into the next relationship.  Or sometimes (like me) you give yourself entirely too much time to heal and become picky and irritable, but that is a different blog for a different time.

In the past I have dated the SM type and it can be exhausting.  They tend to accelarate a relationship from "hi" to "let's move in together."  Men tend to think it is women who jump the gun, but let me tell you there are plenty of men who do it too.

Take B for instance.  He seemed great, we had a lot in common, had a great tinme out and about, BUT he was irritated about my schedule and only being able to hang out a few nights a week.  I worked full time, taught dance, and was a student... I honestly didn't have the option to change my schedule around to appease a dude I had just met.  It soon fizzeled and I went my way and he went his.  Surely he is shacked up with someone and it probably didn't take all that long either.

The point is that he didn't take the time to see if we really jived prior to becoming clingy and somewhat overbearing.  If there is one thing I can't stand it is a stage five clinger and someone who tells me what to do, he would have seen this if he had taken the time to enjoy dating and the getting to know you phase.  It is important to know the person you end up with, because if you jump from serious relationship to serious relationship, are you even taking the time to get to know yourself enough to see what you really want in a life partner?  Or are you perfectly content bouncing from person to person and never knwoing why things aren't working out.

Take the time to enjoy dating, even if it is a pain in the ass, because no one wants a lifetime five stage clinger.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Become Your Own Matchmaker- Chapters 1 & 2

Last week I let y'all know that I was reading Patti Stanger's "Become Your Own Matchmaker" and that I would let you know how that is going.  I decided instead of a book review at the end, I will catch you up every few chapters.  I think there are eight total so it shouldn't be spread out too much.  I am in the middle of chapter 3 currently and I must admit I am ready to pull my ever loving hair out.

Chapter one was all about the method to and reasons behind a dating detox.  Well, if you are any self respecting type of woman you already know how to put yourself on a dating detox.  Most of us call it being burnt out, exhausted or just tired of the bull shit.  In addition to that, Patti goes on a rant about how she isn't going to sugar coat it, but you need to lose that extra 20 pounds are you are basically repulsive to all men.  In that moment I became completely infuriated.  I don't know if it was the way she said, what she was implying or the way I took it, but I was not pleased.  The book was set down and it was extremely difficult for me to pick it back up and finish chapter 1 which I eventually did.

 Patti also advises you to imagine your wedding day and that is perfectly ok to not know the man you'll marry, just visualize his silhouette....  Um ya, so about that.  If I knew who I was going to marry I wouldn't have bought the damn book.  Additionally, you told me to clean out all thoughts of all men I have ever dated, had a crush on, etc, and now I am allowed to think about marrying them?  Makes me think Patti might be bat shit crazy.  Another lesson from chapter 1, that I loved, is the idea of the 5 different worlds such as: spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual, and financial.  Basically you have to figure out which one is most like you.  Mine is intellectual and emotional with a side pf physical.

Chapter two was all about the looks and what does and doesn't draw men in.  "Your smile is your calling card"... so it better be whiter than freshly fallen snow.  Patti also talks about weight, exercise, and eating healthy.  For some reason, chapter two didn't bother me as much as the weight statement in chapter 1 did.  It may be because I remembered she is all about matchmaking millionaires and requires perfection from her club members or maybe she wasn't as harsh...  I can't decide.

I do know that I am drawing HUGE conclusions regarding any type of self help/ romance books which I will share when I finish this book and the reviews.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Friday's Favorite Pins

We made it to Friday!  It seemed like such a feat and yet here we are.  Here are a few of my favorite things on Pinterest.

This beauty popped out at me over at My Kind Of Yellow.  I think I might try my hand at recreating it this weekend.

Crate bookshelves... This could be inexpensive or very expensive.

Darling Save Designs has this adorable mug that I am adding to my collection.

Buckeyes are easily one of my very favorite indulgences.  I love that I found a simple recipe.  These may be busted out this weekend!  

Glitter coated mason jars, who wouldn't love this?

You can follow me on Pinterest here.  

What are you pinning away?

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Currently, September

Linking up with Anne and Beth for what I am currently doing this beautiful Wednesday.

Reading-  I ordered "Become Your Own Matchmaker" by Patti Stanger.  It should be here today and I am going to read and discuss with Jen at the end of each chapter.  This may seem counter productive to my dating detox, but we will discuss that at a later date. 

Trying- It Works Cleanse is two days, four 4 oz bottles and whole lot eating healthy.  Today is day two.  I feel ok with exception to feeling like I am starving death. 

Hoping- Here's to hoping for cooler weather... You know like fall weather.  Get it together So Cal.

Decorating- I am not, will not, refuse to decorate for fall prior to the week of the 22nd, even if it kills me.  I have been scouring Pinterest, Michael's, and JoAnn's for all sorts of cute ideas.  

To-do listing- When am I not creating some sort of to- do list?  Currently have one of items to get rid of, items to post for sale, Christmas gifts, what to clean.. You name it, there is a list for it... Now if I could just find my list.